- these are Lily Lukashenko's dying words to her son.
North London in the twenty-first century; a place where a son will swiftly adopt an old lady and take her home to impersonate his dear, departed mother, rather than lose the council flat.
A time of golden job opportunities, though you might have to dress up as a coffee bean or intern at an undertaker's or put up with champagne and posh French dinners while your boss hits on you.
A place rich in language - whether it's Romanian, Ukrainian, Russian, Swahili or buxom housing officers talking managementese.
A place where husbands go absent without leave and councillors sacrifice cherry orchards at the altar of new builds.
Marina Lawycka tells a new, funny, briljant story of life, love, death and the perils of not being George Clooney in the modern world.